Bypassing the One-Year Rule

I'm 27 years old and trying to conceive a child. I have had two abortions and one miscarriage. I am now married and want a baby desperately. I have been trying to conceive for about six months now. My doctor tells me it's too early for him to do tests on me. He says I have to try for a year before I can start taking tests and trying other procedures. I am going crazy. My husband wants to me to go to another doctor and lie and tell them that I've been trying for over a year so they can give me drugs or something. What do you think? Carmen

We would not recommend lying to your doctor. You have no reason to trust your physician if you are not willing to be honest yourself. Providing misleading information is not only stupid, it is also potentially harmful to your health. Fertility pills are not the one-size-fits-all approach to solving fertility problems that many couples think they are. In fact, studies have repeatedly shown that a "thoughtless" attack on infertility by throwing some fertility pills at your problem may not only interfere with your ability to conceive, but may also delay a more thoughtful approach that ultimately leads to your success. For more information on why it's reasonable to wait a year before seeking help at your age, see my column on How Long to "Try"?

If you came to our center lying about your medical history out of desperation after only a few months, first we would hope that as you learned more about what it takes to conceive, you would be willing to be a bit more patient. Your "going crazy" and your husband's desire to lie are more worrisome. Such responses to the problem of infertility are not very positive. Before you proceed much further, we would recommend you meet with a trained psychologist or counselor to address your stress and develop more appropriate tools for communication.